I really think you need to eat more since otherwise you're just destroying your self. Weakness is the way your body tells you things are not OK at all. it's a good idea to increse calories intake slowly so that you don't "shock" your body.. keep it slow and growing.

even if you don't like being checked it's a good idea to see a doctor in this case. Try to follow all the advice and you'll be better.

It's not a blame game, it shouldn't be, it's about your life and health. Do take care of yourself, try to have a lot of rest too (you are not in position to overwork your weak body now) and take it all slow

I wish you all the best, please keep us updated on your progress