Originally Posted by xXx_Zachy_xXx

Well, this is my honest opinion:
-There are a lot of grammatical/spelling errors. It would improve your story a lot to have someone proofread it, and fix them.
-In some parts, you used words that were sort of overdoing it, and didn't really fit the context. ex: "They didn't have a great expidition just to a local chemist."
-You used the word "inquisitive" way too often. Checking a Thesaurus could give you some more ways to describe that type of action.
-In the beginning of the story, you said that the girl was 13, and then when you revealed it was you, you said you were 16. Did they really spend that long at the chemist's? You also later stated that you were 13 again. Time machine?
-It's unrealistic that someone's parents would tell their children they have herpes. It's an embarassing topic to begin with, most people would not simply blurt it out. Parents also tend not to discuss sexual matters with their kids, either.
-A cut being "quite deep, but nothing serious" is contradictory to itself. If it's deep, it's serious.
-Depression among young teenagers is really not that uncommon, at all.
-If you went and told your friends about your cutting addiction, you didn't really want people "staying out of your business". The whole cutting thing, in general, is a cry for attention. The baby had taken the attention away from you, and cutting yourself was a way of getting it back.

Keep writing! The more stories you write, the more you'll improve!

Originally Posted by sk80rdi3

xaxaxa DagoFlip you're so amazing

Originally Posted by Njord

Drugs are for pussies who can't handle reality.