yc part 2
Posted 05-24-2008 at 10:53 PM by missjaeda
okay, so ive been back at the hotel for about an hour now, and it is 11 41 or something like that....
the worship concert tonight was amazing... the speaker, reggie, was absolutely powerful, and touched my heart in such a big way...actually my youth group ended up having a huge cry/healing fest during this time...
unless you have experienced an event like this, you cannot imagine the way i feel right now... it's absolutely indescribable....
i can try though...
one year ago, i ended up going to a counsellor, b/c teacher types had suspicion about my mental health.... they wouldn't really mention why they had suspicions, but i think it was obvious: you can't wear long sleeves in gym class...and i LOVE volly ball...
so, any ways, the sessions were around forty five minutes to an hour, and i only went to a total of THREE sessions b/c i knew i didn't need to be there, other kids did, and who was i to deprive them of my time slot? so i went to a youth group instead, and prayed.
eventually god called me in my heart, and i volunteered for FIVE HOURS at the local grocery store sell t-shirts to cranky old ladies buying cat food, and earned a free trip to YC 2008.
the past 8 months in youth group were hard though... i fought depression, and WON!
but it is sooooo hard....
for 2 years i had surface cut my left arm, b/c i could do more damage with less marks, and i had major thought of suicide...
but when i joined youth, i promised my best friend, and my youth pastor that i wouldn't cut anymore....and the two of them keep their eyes on me pretty well!!!
but no matter how hard i tried, i always thought of "leaving".
this is the longest i have ever gone without wanting to kill my self in two or three years - four days...
that made me think- oh god! im a statistic!!!!
the worship concert tonight was amazing... the speaker, reggie, was absolutely powerful, and touched my heart in such a big way...actually my youth group ended up having a huge cry/healing fest during this time...
unless you have experienced an event like this, you cannot imagine the way i feel right now... it's absolutely indescribable....
i can try though...
one year ago, i ended up going to a counsellor, b/c teacher types had suspicion about my mental health.... they wouldn't really mention why they had suspicions, but i think it was obvious: you can't wear long sleeves in gym class...and i LOVE volly ball...
so, any ways, the sessions were around forty five minutes to an hour, and i only went to a total of THREE sessions b/c i knew i didn't need to be there, other kids did, and who was i to deprive them of my time slot? so i went to a youth group instead, and prayed.
eventually god called me in my heart, and i volunteered for FIVE HOURS at the local grocery store sell t-shirts to cranky old ladies buying cat food, and earned a free trip to YC 2008.
the past 8 months in youth group were hard though... i fought depression, and WON!
but it is sooooo hard....
for 2 years i had surface cut my left arm, b/c i could do more damage with less marks, and i had major thought of suicide...
but when i joined youth, i promised my best friend, and my youth pastor that i wouldn't cut anymore....and the two of them keep their eyes on me pretty well!!!
but no matter how hard i tried, i always thought of "leaving".
this is the longest i have ever gone without wanting to kill my self in two or three years - four days...
that made me think- oh god! im a statistic!!!!
