Hi, Im jeffrey. Lets cut to the chase..

Well, my life has been a mess latley. I'm not writing on here looking for symphathy or pity because thats not what I need. I'm writing this because I keep myself so bottled up and don't share how I feel with anyone, and this is a way to let things out.

I've been dealing with my own depression since my freshmen year of highschool. I learned to deal with it up til now. I just graduated from HS and this is the first time where I feel completley lost in my life.

To start i'll just say that I have had no relationship with my parents for the last year. I cant remember when two days went by where I havent thought or told my parents how much I hate them. And when I think about it its really how I feel. I feel a STRONG hate for them I hate how they treat me like a 12 year old and its ruining my social life. I'm eighteen now like God damn give me some room. I am always disrespectful to them because they dont respect me eneough to give me my room.

I just recently broke up with my girlfriend. She was the only person I cared about, and the only person that actually made me happy. I could do anything with her. But of course, I messed this up. I cheated on her.. not once but twice over about a 9 month period. I wasnt sober when I did this which leads me into my next problem..

Well, this comes as no suprise but I found a temp "fix" for my problems. I got into sex, drugs, and alchohal. i was living the underground lifestlye and I still am today. I smoke marijuana everyday not only because it makes me happy, but because it makes me look at things from a different perspective. I also feel very creative when I'm stoned and I ( while writing this i just got into a fight with my mom.. ha)enjoy being to be able to look at things different and be more creative. I drink everyweekend and now that summer is in session I'l be drinking more than that.. I smoke cigarettes too and my friends ask me why and i tell them because I have nothing better to do with my life.

So tell me is it normal for an eighteen year old to HATE being sober. I hate is so much.. i dont feel right under the influence of something.. its pretty fucked up i know but i cant help it.

I feel like i've used up all of my friends. Ever when I stopped doing sports and got a girlfriend and such I feel like i've been sliding away from my friends. I think they are pretty shitty sometimes. Like two of them tried hanging out with my x after we broke up.. its messed up but what can I do. everyone in this town is fake and you cant trust anyone. Im sitting home on a friday night writing this.. i feel so lame.

Basically to sum things up, I have no relationship with my parents. I'm addicted to drugs, lust, and booze. I'm loosing my social life. I'm losing my friends.I lost the only person I cared abut and its all because i fucked up and I'm worrid about going to college next year..

Well, I could write lots more but I'm tired. Speaking of that I'm AWLAYS tired. no matter how much sleep I get im always exhausted.



Thanks for reading and i'm glad I could get all tat off my chest.. - jeff

Hi Jeffery, welcome to AA. Assholes Anon, this is your friendly neighborhood asshole, Njord speaking.

Then you have come to the right place!

Get a goal and go to college. Stop being a fucking bum.

Just like every other teenager. I'm assuming that because of your age, you're either just graduating HS this year, or you have graduated already. It's about that time to get out of the house bud, get in college, your own apartment if you can, etc..etc..
You're a legal adult in your parents house. They can start charging rent, so stop being such a pansy. If this is such a problem, calmly sit them down and ask them for said "room". Then ask them if there's a way you can work out you relationships. I'm sure you don't want to hate your parents, or you wouldn't be posting it here.

Yeah, every emo kid feels like this over his/her Bf/Gf..Get over it. You won't even remember their name in a year. If you emotions are defined/dependent on other people, you have a problem because they can tear you down as easily as they can build you up. You make you happy, sad, gay or whatever. Just let other people enhance those emotions. Not choose them for you.
Stop drinking, or stop bitching.

Drugs are for pussies who can't handle reality. Get a grip and pull yourself together. Yes, weed makes you quite the tortured artist, except that you'll be bullshitting around for the rest of your life "looking at the world differently." Who gives a fuck? It gets you no where.

Sure, teens like to get drunk, but not stay that way. That's pathetic. Get you shit together and go see a counselor. You need professional help, seriously, before you kill yourself.

Dude, you fucking cheated on her. You broke her heart, twice. Fuck you.
Now, your friends are going to repair that damage. They may be friends with her as well, or they could have ulterior motives. Doesn't matter, she is no longer your concern, because you made it that way. If your friends "hated" you so much, then they wouldn't be concerned about your habits (as you stated above). So stop trying to place blame on them.

You are.


To sum it all up:

Get a life. This is extremely pathetic. Why are you even living at the moment? What's the purpose for you wasting my fucking oxygen? Get your shit together first off. Drop the inebriating/psychedelic habits and start doing shit to improve your life.

Work on understanding you and you parents relationship. You obviously have no idea why they treat you the way they do, though I'm sure your habits have SOMETHING to do with that, so sit them down and figure that out.

Apologize to your girl and move on. You don't deserve her until you fix yourself. She doesn't deserve to be dragged down by some bullshitter who continually breaks her heart. If one of your friends does a better job of being a MAN for her, then that's you loss.

Instead of wasting your time fucking around with weed/alk, teach yourself something new. Read, study music, hell study the world. I hate when teens waste their precious time bullshitting around 24/7 and then complain that life sucks. DO SOMETHING WITH IT THEN! You have the internet, go to wikipedia and look up some random shit like..Psychology. Read the article through, and then go to the bottom and click a "See Also" link, read it too. Keep going. Wikisource has full textbooks you can use to teach yourself new thinks in just about any subject. Figure out what you want in life, and begin to work towards that goal. Trust me, with all you energies going towards that, you'll feel a lot better about yourself, because you'll see your work paying off:
Think about a fraternity initiation; Grueling, sometimes painful, sick even..Now when guys get through that shit, they feel like all that had to be worth the prize. That frat-house is now their home, and they now have brothers. In life it works the same way; You work your ass off for something, grueling through bullshit every step of the way, and when you finally reach your goal, it's the best thing that's ever happened to you. Because you fought through the suck to get there.

Work on your life, and try to incorporate some of these things. Stop being pathetic, grow a pair, and take your place as a man. Hopefully, Njord will one day be able to hold you a seat at Odin's table - as a welcomed warrior of Valhalla.

Alright, first off, I think your reply was a bit extreme considering you know nothing about me and what I do with my free time. You don't know my goals, you don't know me. I am attending college next year and am having mixed feeling about leaving my hometowm. I'm happy to get away from life here and start new yet again I'm worried about becoming a failure. This worrying is good though. it drives me. I've gone through my whole high school career being told I was going to be a failure, from my teachers, friends, family, ect. I took that energy and completley turned it around and that is my motivation to become successful. Dont consider me a waste of life. I have a life. I have 2 jobs, in the IT field that I am very lucky to have at my age.

You tell me to learn things, I always am. I am a self learner and I love learning things just to learn them. I recently found a website that hosts videos that are talks from the smartest people in the world. (TED: Ideas worth spreading)

Read books? I do read books. I read only non-fiction of course and usualy business related. I'm very interested in business and that will be a minor at college next year.

Yeah, I did apologize to my girlfriend, and I know I dont deserve her til i can get my act together. My friends are man whores, they didnt want to treat her better. I treated her great. i just let lust get the best of me.

You say I'm wasting my precious time complaining about things??? I simply made this thread to get shit out of me because i dotn share my feelings with people usually. I spend my time wisely. I thank you for your recommendation to join a frat and yeah I will keep that as one of my options and look into it.

Maybe I do need to quit smoking but, you know how I said I liked thinking differently? Well, when watching these video's (TED: Ideas worth spreading) or reading about something interesting stoned can be very benificial. I tend to write things down that I think of while stoned and self educating.

yeah, my life is a mess. but my life rests ontop of my core. And my core is all of what I just told you about above. I appreciate the reply back and your advice. Though, I disagree with how you tried reaching out and help me, but the intention was still the same I hope.

I hope that explains somethings and shows I'm not completely worthless.

Maybe i can sit at your table.

-Jeff

Oh, I am seeing a counslor now, once a week, for the first time in my life. My mom is forcing me to go. I refuse to take any medicine because I beleive that everyone is dealt with their own problems in life and it is our job to deal with. But yet thats contridictary to how I said, I smoke pot and drink because it makes me happy. I guess I just party just to party.

Don't use "thinking differently" as a way to justify doing drugs. They will get you no where. And once you start university, good luck getting high every day, going to class, doing piles of homework and handeling a job on top of all that.

__________________

The longer we can keep building,
the longer we can keep creating,
the more will be possible.
The longer we can tolerate being incomplete.
Delay gratification.

I heart Njord and his good answers.

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First of all I have to say, " your life SUCKS" but that's ok.. I see you are getting better at life and I think you are improving. Going to a concaler is going to help. Or at least more than us.

Hey, nobodys perfect!

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Sorry, advertising is against TeenPhrase rules.
Not to mention, your site REALLY sucks.

-Zach

ha. everyone goes through depression at some time in there life, but the whole drug thing makes me sick. i would never turn to that stuff. and if you still do it then thats pretty pathetic. drugs are for cowards and pussies. get a life :P

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Roses are red, violets are blue. sugar is sweet...and so is your blood. muahaha

well. if you cared about this girl so much...YOU WOULD GET YOUR FUCKING ACT TOGETHER AND STOP DOING DRUGS !

people make mistakes and everyong deserves a second chance.
if she sees that your doing good, maybe she will give you a chance.
cheating is really bad. i hate cheaters.

and for your parents, i went through alot with mine.
buht you only get one set. one day, they are goin to be
gone and your going to be upset.
stop being a lil bitch and get over yourself.

and as far as your social life and friends,
you are the only one effectin that.
you have every power to change.
its not your friends fault buht thats just
part of an addicts life, blamming everyone buht yourself.

well, im done here.
your life rests in your hand.
wanna fuck up?
go aheeaddd.

your only effecting yourself,
and the people around you.

kkthanksbye.

dude, this is going as my sig xD

So am I, the lifestyle is great!
xD

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As the saying goes: you dug yourself a hole, now lay in it.