WARNING! WARNING!
~Majorly depressing rant ahead~



I really don't know what to do with myself anymore...
It all started a week ago. I was at the park with a group of people for a picnic party thing. I don't usually go outside or go to any social events, so it was different for me. I was sitting under a tree, and there were people all around me, and I started freaking out. I started shaking, couldn't breathe, had trouble seeing, and felt horrible. I think it was a panic attack, I'm not sure. Well, not too long after I settled down because everyone kinda dispersed, I heard a loud explosion, and someone apparently set off an M-80 (small explosive, for those that don't know) and everyone was like, cheering and laughing and having fun. Then, out of nowhere, I see someone standing near by, they lit another m-80, and threw it at me. I freaked out, knowing those things could cause some major damage, and jumped away. Unfortunately, it went off almost right away, and ended up catching my pants on fire. It burned fast, so I ended up feeling it very quickly. No one helped me, everyone just stared, some laughed, and whoever threw the thing ran away, and no one knew who he was. I ended up calling my mom to get me and take me to the hospital, and had to sit in gravel, my legs badly burned, for almost an hour. I got to the hospital, and they told me that because of how long it was before I got any help with the burns, I may not be able to walk again.

Now, that's just ONE thing that happened to me. Two days ago, I got a call from a friend of mines mom, and she told me that a very good friend of mine hung herself that night. Not only that, but she wrote a note. A note that mentioned me. She explained all about how much she hated me, for no apparent reason what so ever, just wanted to upset me. No one likes me apparently...

So, after all that happened, I fall into a sort of deep depression. I started cutting myself, more as a way to cope with all of the emotional pain, to replace it with a lesser, physical pain. I felt dead inside. I can't walk, and someone I thought was my friend was playing with me the whole time. Not only that, but soon after she died, many other friends of mine started fucking with me, teasing me, and telling me they were lying about being my friend too. So, basically, I'm alone, everyone hates me, I lost use of my legs, and I hate my life.

Thanks for reading, if anyone did. I kinda feel a little better venting all of this...

Hm, that's gotta suck.
I think, the police should do some investigation to find out who threw the freaking bomb at you. And you said you may not be able to walk again, is there still a chance you will be able to?

As for your friend, I am sure she had many other problems on her mind than just you. So don't be too hard on yourself.

Try to look at the positives in any situation, as cheesy as it sounds, it will make you feel better.

__________________

The longer we can keep building,
the longer we can keep creating,
the more will be possible.
The longer we can tolerate being incomplete.
Delay gratification.

Man, sorry to hear that. You took me by surprise there. I guess you usually expect less of depressing situations. x-x
I agree with the chick before me, the police really should conduct an investigation. If you lose use of your legs you could definitely sue.

Fake friends really ####, but she probably didn't hate you as much as she let on. When you're that ###### up and tired of life you get moments where it's just easier to make someone else feel just as bad as you do. She must've just been letting out a bit of frustration through you.

chin up. Life goes on and it gets better eventually. Maybe you could start with working on that shyness? =)

I used to think everything was a meaningless void til I met my crush. didn't get together but he DID help me gain some confidence which I used to make more friends. G-luck.

__________________
"life is like a lie, when it ends, others still hurt."

Lol Hilarious!!!

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