Normally I wouldn't post something like this, but I guess I wanted to pop this forum's cherry. I also don't normally say I "pop" anything's "cherry."

So, here's my thread.

A friend of mine has been having major drama with her parents. I feel like everyday I have to witness another huge blowout between them. I'm not asking how she should resolve her issues with them, because that's up to her, but what sort of thing should I say post-argument? I feel like she expects me to bestow wisdom on her, but when she calls me to gripe, all I can really come up with is, "I know, it sucks. I hope you feel better." I want to be a good friend though, so any advice as to what I can do to make her feel better (or at least calmed down?)

The most you can really do without barging in is comfort her with words. Try working on what you want to say to her. Hopefully it will calm down a bit soon.


Good luck!

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Tips for modding:
1.BAN FUCKING EVERYONE.

Let her vent with you
it helps sooo much.
remind her your her friend, if she needs to get away, let her sleep over
just those little things help so much.

^Very good point. Hang out with her and make her feel wanted.

__________________





Tips for modding:
1.BAN FUCKING EVERYONE.

When my close friends are having problems, I always
suggest that we go hang out n watch movies, go shopping,
take a roadtrip or something of the sort. In my case,
it has helped clear their minds. It also shows them that
you care.

Yeah, alot of times in those types of situations, silence is golden...let her say what she wants, then give her a big hug, and if you feel the need, try to give her some encouraging words, or at least quick joke or something.

Why are they having these blow outs?
Most of the time, the child causes it themselves and then acts [or the drive it into their head] as if they did nothing wrong in the first place and their parents are crazy.
Then in other cases the parents just aren't good parents and try to undermine the child subconsciously.

I am taking a bet and guessing it is the first choice just because you said that it has been happening lately. Some kids just like to get the attention from others whether it be negative or positive.

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God closed his eyes and turned his back.
If he doesn't see, then he doesn't act.

Definitely. I don't understand why, but if my friend is denyed something, like she isn't allowed to go out or something, she goes ballistic. I'll hear her screaming at her parents, saying she wants to kill herself and stuff like that.

I should probably mention that my friend is "clinically depressed," but part of me is skeptical about that. Yeah, she goes to therapy, and yeah she's on antidepressants, but it sort of seems to me that they put everyone on meds these days to cure normal, day to day angst.

But anyway, I've witnessed some of their blow outs, and I don't think her parents really know how to deal with her. They don't really get her, I don't think. So even though she sometimes brings out the fighting and the drama, they aren't skilled enough to know how to calm her down or make her feel better (thus dumping a sad, angry, frustrated mess on my doorstep =/}

Well I never had any 'problems' until I had to go see a therapist. When I went to see her, she would tell me why I wasn't 'normal' and things like that. When I went there, I was all of a sudden manic-depressive bi polar, I had ADD Type 2, I had OCD and et cetera and everything she told me gave me excuses to make for myself.
Like, "Oh. I can't pay attention because I haven't taken my Adderall."
"My meds make me angry, deal with it." "I am bi polar, you can't talk to me like that or it gets me pissed."

I kept using those things as excuses for my actions instead of taking the responsibility to admit that it was me doing that. Now that I don't take any meds and I don't use my 'problems' as excuses, I am doing pretty well. I mean the only thing that I cannot really 'fix' is my insomnia but it's only seasonal so I deal with it.


She just needs to learn how to take no as an answer and stop being a little brat [so it seems to me.] I know I use to get mad at my parents when I couldn't go hang out with my friends and things like that but I never threatened to kill myself, that is just ridiculous.
"If you won't let me go, I am going to kill myself so that way I am basically going against everything that I am complaining about because when I am dead I can't go either...but...but at least I win!"

How old is this friend? Heh...it just sounds ridiculous. Give her a little reality check when you talk to her. She will most likely 'hate' you for a little bit but she will get over it and see her problem is herself.

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God closed his eyes and turned his back.
If he doesn't see, then he doesn't act.

i know how that is,
i have a friend.. shes have had ENOUGH problems with her family
i would have to witness.. it too
they would beat her infront of me.. for nothing
it would make me feel so uuncomfortable
i would then want to go home but my friend would cry and tell me to stay
i didnt no what to do:S i was so.. confused
i felt as if i tried to help, i would make things worst..
i would always tell to sleep over or something?
i'd also say if she needed somewhere to stay.. i would always be ther efor her
but ever since then me and her stopped talking.. we went to different highschools..
and just RESENTLY.. she told me how they were abusing her again.. and i was speechless